Masks

I used to make myself up everyday. I was in my twenties, and I had a great deal of self expression, which is good, but what was truly at play was a need to put on a mask so that people wouldn’t see the real me, the vulnerable and insecure me. I was a contradiction, I wanted to be seen and hide. I thought my self worth was wrapped in how I looked and what I did for others. All in an effort to like me.

Sometime after I did the hard work of putting myself back together, I stopped playing dress up. I was no longer the little girl in the attic trying on the costumes and dress clothes in the trunk, seeing which fit the best. I learned to love myself for the first time. I became simply me, and it’s a fabulous place to be!

However, something happened after putting my all into my career and then my children. I stopped taking little moments for myself. I put everything into my job and my kids. I didn’t take time for myself. Well, except for my fiber art.

I don’t think appearances are what we need to focus on. I do think we can choose to do the things that helps us be our best selves, our authentic selves, that make us feel beautiful inside and out. For some it could be dressing up even if there’s no place to go, it could be helping someone in need, it could be letting our creativity shine, laughing with friends, or just lounging outside on a beautiful day. It could even be writing a blog. Whatever it is, see the beauty in it, even if it’s difficult to do so.

What makes you feel beautiful? Where are you most authentic?